Humpday HotLinkSex

Happy Bill of Rights day! Well, it's technically a few days late, but be sure to refresh yourself on what this country was really founded on. Hint: It ain't the bible. But it is the Wright Brothers' First Flight Day. Also, if you are robbing a place, don't let a ghost keep you trapped there. For three damn days. Might as well use a fucking programming language to decide your religion.

Interview with Meatwad. Yes, it's as good as you'd think.

No cake for you, Adolph Hitler. Also: ugliest parents ever; in every sense of the word. And they probably take turns weighing themselves to see who gained the most weight after every meal...

Tiny swiss watch found in 400 year old Chinese tomb. See, my damn time machine does work...

You guys remember 'America's Most Wanted'? How the dude's own kid was all head-chopped-off and such? Well, it turns out it was a dead guy. I mean, he's dead now. It's actaully the same guy who confessed twice but was never charged because the police totally screwed up the case. Oh well, at least they got a TV show out of it.

Send your damn shoes to the G.W.Bush library! Or, better yet, the White house.

It's cool either way, because the government says “Marijuana availability is high throughout the United States.” Well, that's good to know. Great job eradicating drug use in America, fellows. Heckuva job.