The most wonderful thing about Tuesday is the 'Ues'.

First of all, you simply must see the progress on the clock! Holy bezowbers cool, you say? Why yes, my good sir or ma'am, it is bezowbers cool. Not as cool as say, getting all fucked up on GHB and extracting 18 of your teeth with pliers, but almost. Also, unrelated in any way, shape or form, dogs can feel envy. And my friends, and fellow patriots, always, always remeber that "There's nothing more natural than a beaver."

Seems there is a justice boom somewhere in the world - the Wonderful World of Television, that is. According this this entertaining and enlightening article, there are now over a dozen - and they are a mockery of real justice because every so-called judge is nothing more than an arbitrator. Anyways, check out lines like "Explicitly moral, obscenely didactic, showcasing a perversely distorted view of the American legal system, justice porn is a potent, ubiquitous presence in our lives, and at least as influential as the cartoon mayhem of Saints Row 2 or Young Jeezy's latest ode to thug life." Thank you, Reason!

Hey, I've got a great idea. Since old people are so good at everything else and don't fuck up everything, let's give them guns! Guns they can use with withered, arthritic fingers to shoot minorites that happen to stroll by the nursing home. True Story: A few days ago I was walking around, minding my own business, and I passed an old people building with some people out front. If they had had a gun, I'm sure they would have blown my fucking brains all out. Old people: Don't trust them. They will try to kill you at some point, probably to drink you blood because they think that will make them younger. Stunning Fact: Old people are immune to garlic and often shit themselves. Who do you trust?

Stolen from Boingboing / this guy.