WE ARE DOOMED! Also, cake.

HEY YOU FUCKING RETARDS! Oh look, I used a controversial word, let's write a fucking article about it. Jeez, don't get so offended, douchebag!

Douchy douchebags, how we hate thee - such as Enraged Cunt Palin. ECP, as I call her, had her stupid Yahoo! account hacked. Wanna see? It's right over here on WikiLeaks! (As of...early ass this morning, the wikileaks site took a crap; probably because everyone in America wants to see her personal emails about having a retard baby and her other preggers child.) UPDATE: Some screen grabs and her contact list can be found here! Looks like everyone is finding out what a stupid cunt you are, Palin. Maybe you and McCain can go make retard babies in some other country.

Another country might be the place to be, as the US economy as a whole is fucked. It's a 'mixed bag' and shit... When the damn president is avoiding speaking to the public, things are fucked, eh? And fuck, looks like my bank WaMu is in big shit. I hope my money* is ok.

One of my faithful readers (Since there are like 5 of you, if you are reading this, than there is a 20% chance it's you. Thank you, College Algebra!) sent me a link to Badass Of The Week. It's a great site that reviews, well, different bad-asses. And it's updated once a week, imagine that! The writing style is beyond awesome and reminds me of myself. Take, for example, this line about Attila the Hun - "Attila and his brother inherited the Hun Empire in 433 after their father died for some reason nobody gives a shit about.". Or maybe this great one from the article about Jean Hatchet - "In June of 1472, Duke Charles the Bold of Burgundy was a fucking dickhead. He was such a complete and total jackass to everybody that the King of France had officially declared him a traitor to the crown, and Charles – who, like I just said, was a fucking assclown – got his panties in a wad about the whole thing, raised an army of douchebags and started turning the French countryside into a giant raging inferno of suck." It's educational and entertaining! And it will totally meet your qouta of cusses to regular words. Because it satisfied mine, goddamnit. The only downside I see is that this site needs an RSS feed - every site on the web should have a fuckin' RSS feed, so the only page I'd need to check (in theory) would be my lovely lady lumps. I mean my Google Reader. God bless you, google. Until you decided to not follow your motto and become evil. Well, some people already think you are... Also located on this site is the 'Miscellaneous Articles' section, where we find such classics as "Things I've Eaten For Money" and "The Unofficial Guide to Working at Staples". A great find.

And check this shit out: http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com. It's just what you think it is. A collection of passive aggressive notes. But they are brilliant and funny and remind of myself sometimes. As a person with more moods and random shifts in personality, sometimes I'm passive aggressive. Sometimes I'm regular agresive, sometimes I'm passive-passive. Whatever. Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who.

Toodles for now, dear reader persons.



P.S. MATT DAMON IS A DOUCHE! For real - he might not like E.C. Palin (who does? not Americans!) but Hollywood censors things all the damn time, just like banning books.

* - my account is actually negative right now, that'll fix those damn WaMu fucks!

In Soviet Russia, Link clicks YOU!

Once again, I've not much to say. I missed a lot of sleep this weekend for some reason and it's really taking a toll on my brains. But instead of just ignoring my clamoring fans and worshipful minions, I'll take yet another oppurtunity to share some totally awesome links with you. All of these are stolen from (or direct links to) different feeds I subscribe to - if you want more, my shared feeds page is here.
Richard Wright, longtime Pink Floyd keyboardist, went to The Great Gig In The Sky yesterday. I'll be sure to dedicate my next getting high session for you, Richard. I guess he's been playing with them off and on since the Syd Barret days. Set Your Controls to the Heart of the Sun! But watch out, because the solar rays might melt off your angel wings and you will fall to your death. Mwahahahah! Watch out for Evil McCains on your way, too.

Speaking of getting high, the United States of America, my native country, just set a record for the number of marijuana arrests in a year! Go America! We arrested 872,720 people for pot last year! FUCK YES! WE ARE WINNING THE DRUG WAR! Oh those, 775,138 were for possession. Jail time for possession. Yes, awesome! We only arrested 597,447 for all violent crimes. Because, you know, putting people in jail for pot is what we excel at. Violent crimes are one thing, but smoking pot! That leads to...uh, being high? Which is, uh, a crime, I guess? Goddamn this country. Hey, it's only costing us between $10 and $12 billion dollars a year. That' s like a week or so in Iraq, guys, and we NEED to win this War on Arabs Terror. But hey, guess what? Congress is about to celebrate the 75th aniversary of the repeal of alcohol prohibition. Hey fuckos - take note - it didn't work with alcohol and it sure as fuck doesn't work for drugs.

Spekaing of Idiots Who Run Our Country, ugly, ugly John McCain - look how EVIL you look! Dirty bastard. Next time, might wanna get your pictures taken from someone that doesn't hate your guts and is known for taking pretty pictures of primates. I guess now she's uh, not that desirable to be a photographer. I swear if McFucktard and Enraged Cunt Palin win, I'm moving to another land and time. If you wanna see more Photoshopped McCain pics from Jill Greenberg, find out how here.

A Retarded Baby on the Republican Ticket - I'll just let the title speak for itself. (From the looks of things, McCain has been eating lots and lots of babies! Look at that fuckin' blood!)

The best looking glass I've seen in a long time. And you can't even smoke out of it! Well, I don't think you can. But I bet if this person did make glass pipes, they would kick more ass than Imi Lichtenfield on PCP.

Hey, remember that pact we made, thirty-two years ago? Where if we lived to fifty, we'd have a pie fight? Well cool. Let's do it next weekend.

Finally, this graph shows how the world will vote in our election. If they could and shit.

Matt Damon, Despite his Clever Remarks, is Still Matt Damon

Well, everyone else seems to think Damon's the second coming of Christ because he noticed that Crazy Bitch Tits Palin was a worthless person. Gee, Matt, what school of politics did you graduate from? Liberal Bitchfest College of Worthless Actors? But I digress...Allow me to fill you in on the happnins of teh interwebs - sort of organized, but mostly the random myself bullshit half-assed bloggery you've come to love. Or hate. I could care less, as long as I get that big book deal soon...
Enjoy wonderful music as the economy collapses around you! Check it out, I made this totally awesome Ragtime Pandora station for you to re-live the horrors of the early 20th century, as we repeat them today! Now with MORE GLOBAL WARMING!

Since the rest of the world is going to shit - or maybe it is just the U.S. - Mr. Hugo 'President until I get sick of it, or die, but yeah we live in a democracy, sure whatever' Chavez just booted the American embassy from his fine country of Venezuela.

Holy Fucksticks, Stephen Hawking is presenting a new way to tell time! Well, at least it beats a digital watch. I mean, pretty-wise. I'll use all this stock I have in Merrill Lynch to buy one.

Hey, has anyone else read 'A Heartbreaking Work Of Staggering Genius' by Dave Eggers? No? Well, go fucking buy a copy of this book right now. It's one of the best works in the last decade for sure, for sure. And after you read it three times, check this parody of Harry Potter written by the (As of Friday at 9:30, via suicide) late David Foster Wallace. I've never read any of his novels (Infinite Jest is supposed to be one of the great novels of the century - maybe I'll check it out now that he's dead. Since I can only be cursed to love dead novelists. Except Vonnegut. Oh, then he died too. Stupid humans with thier mortality...) but I've read some of his shorter works. Once again, we lose a brilliant mind to...himself. Damn free will! Damn the availablility of things to hang yourself with!

And let's wrap things up with some more Republibashing:


MCCAIN WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY HAVE YOU DONE TO MY FUCKING FRENCH STYLE POTATOES?!

P.S. ZOMG TEH ECONOMY IS DESTOYED!!! JUST LIKE TEH HURRICANE SAID!

Mix Mash Methods

(I've got sporadic time on the intertubes these last few days at work - here is some drafts and repostings for your enjoyment. I don't even feel like editing this. I'm wasting both our times today!)

Crazy cunt Palin supported the shooting of wolves from airplanes - 'for the lulz hunters'.

And it now appears that her 'book banning fiasco' was a bit over the top and kinda unfounded. Yeah, she's a stupid cunt bitch that I despise, but there is no reason to spread lies. The truth is more than enough to cause complete mission failure. Let's keep things in the reality, folks - lies hurt everyone. (I can't believe I just wrote that.)

Wanna make the perfect Bloody Mary? Once again, lifehacker has the goods. And I'm totally gonna try the vodka-infused-with-peppercorn. Sounds...yummy.

http://www.onemotion.com/flash/spider/ -> Virtual Spider. You can feed it, watch it, etc.

http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/discoblog/2008/09/08/archaeological-surprise-grave-site-full-of-phallic-figurines/ -> Lots of ancient penii figures.

http://www.realitysandwich.com/stop_seeking_paradoxes_spiritual_path -> Paradoxes on the Spiritual Path

http://www.overcompensating.com/posts/20080908.html -> LAWLZ Street Terlet! hahahahahahhaa!!

Whoring Myself Out Already

To the ACLU: http://action.aclu.org/mukasey (Stop Mukasey and BushCorp. from fucking us further and declaring a state of war! Or some shit. Just do it.)


To Free Dog Food for animal shelters - Animal Shelter Rescue


To my good friend Jen, who is having a sale on her Etsy sites: Resinated Goods

And finally, because it helps a virtual me,
Fallensword, a cheesy-ass browser based RPG: FallenSword


Today I seem to have Writer's Blocktardia. Maybe this is the cure. Posting stupid links. Yip. Enjoy!