Humpday HotLinkSex

Happy Bill of Rights day! Well, it's technically a few days late, but be sure to refresh yourself on what this country was really founded on. Hint: It ain't the bible. But it is the Wright Brothers' First Flight Day. Also, if you are robbing a place, don't let a ghost keep you trapped there. For three damn days. Might as well use a fucking programming language to decide your religion.

Interview with Meatwad. Yes, it's as good as you'd think.

No cake for you, Adolph Hitler. Also: ugliest parents ever; in every sense of the word. And they probably take turns weighing themselves to see who gained the most weight after every meal...

Tiny swiss watch found in 400 year old Chinese tomb. See, my damn time machine does work...

You guys remember 'America's Most Wanted'? How the dude's own kid was all head-chopped-off and such? Well, it turns out it was a dead guy. I mean, he's dead now. It's actaully the same guy who confessed twice but was never charged because the police totally screwed up the case. Oh well, at least they got a TV show out of it.

Send your damn shoes to the G.W.Bush library! Or, better yet, the White house.

It's cool either way, because the government says “Marijuana availability is high throughout the United States.” Well, that's good to know. Great job eradicating drug use in America, fellows. Heckuva job.

Happy Happy Happy - oh nevermind it's Monday.

Be Happy! It spreads. Now if only I could follow my own advice.

I guess I can't get pissed you guys don't leave enough comments - you come here to learn, not to comment. Heh, you learn from me. I should be getting paid. Meanwhile, Mormon missianaries are finding bigfoot tracks in B.C. They are wrong about other imaginary things, why would they not lie about this?

What do you guys think when cops set a trap and catch criminals? 'Baiting' as it were? Say, setting up a car to get stolen or some shit like that? Well, quasi-infamous former cop Barry Cooper, of the 'Never get Busted' series of how to stash and hide your drugs did a little experiment recently. Essentially, he rented a shitty house in Odessa, TX (I hate that city) and started growing two little Christmas trees in a closet with grow lights. Less than 24 hours later, the cops busted him. Completely illegally, on live web cam and hidden audio recorders streaming to an offsite area. Turns out the cops lied about everything to get the warrant - saying they had eyewitness accounts of plants being grown and that they could smell it. Well, looks like they got busted...Hopefully, this will prevent other incidents in the future and finally show how bad cops will go to any effort to obtain a warrant. Video here. Good job, sir.

Oh, have I mentioned I hate my fucking job? Alas, only 9 more days...Speaking of my shitty work, they are about to propose a 'reverse stock splitting' action to try and raise the price of the stocks above 1.00...otherwise the '...New York Stock Exchange that its stock was out of compliance with a standard for continued listing on the exchange for not maintaining a minimum average closing price of $1 per share over 30 consecutive trading days.' Ha! Ha! Stupid fucking idiots, I hope the whole thing collapses and the inept management has to find some other company to sink.

Finally, let us all remember John Lennon. He's still dead.

Oh! For the first time in memory I didn't get to title my blog 'Happy JFK Gets His Head Blown Off Day' because I wasn't near a computer on Saturnday. So I passed my broker's exam! Hurrah! Here, watch the Zapruder film to celebrate!

Oh happy days.

In the economy, times are so rough that even rich people are spending less on their mistresses. Ye gods, what is this world coming too when the very rich have to stop sending diamond encrusted crotchless panties to 19-year-old herpes ridden call girls? Yikes. Things are lookin' shitty. So far, the government has pledged 7.2 Trillion for the bailout. Maybe they can use some of it...

Looks like our old pal marijuana has been shown to help the aging brain by reducing inflammation and encouraging new growth. Well, specific chemicals. They don't come right out and say 'Hey get high when you're old and you got nothing to worry about' but that's how I'm interrupting it... Great quote: “It’s not that everything immoral is good for the brain. It’s just that there are some substances that millions of people for thousands of years have used in billions of doses, and we’re noticing there’s a little signal above all the noise,” said Gary Wenk, professor of psychology at Ohio State and principal investigator on the research.


P.S. Have I mentioned lately that my job is quickly killing me? It's so fucking time to move on...

HippoTag Vinderschon Abschlauze Morgan

House Bill 164 provides for medical marijuana defense in Texas - please support it. Find out how you can help here. This isn't the ideal solution, but it's better than Texas' present laws. As it stand, the jury can't hear any defense at all based on a medical case. While this bill still allows patients to be arrested and tried, at least now there is a usable defense.

Now, back from extinction! Check out this furry sack of gremlin! It's like a living furby.
Kevin Trudeau is now banned for three years from making infomercials. What a horrible punishment to bestow upon someone! For shame! He's famed for the 'Natural Cures THEY don't want you to know about' and other bullshit. Hooray FDA for doing something right for once.

People around the world seem to drink alcohol more often than they report. And more illegally, or non-commercially anyways. This seems kinda obvious to me. I guess there are some people who drink only in bars, but really? And it causes World-wide repercussions. Hooray.

Finally, the company I work for has stock that keeps dropping lower and lower... It's been in the 40's all day. Stupid company. I really, really need a new job. I doth believe this one is killing me from the inside out and my body is rejecting it. So is the economy, looks like. Anyhoo, any recommendations? I might try freelanceing...Let's see.

Back from That Thing In The Desert

Yep. I've actually been back in Texas since Wednesday, but things have been busy, what with work and my garden and all. Everything grew ginormous and I spent hours yesterday harvesting jalapenos and basil and stuff, weeding, re-aligning the tomatoes and squash, and finally killing the massive 'weed' in the middle of it all. I'm pretty sure it was a weed now. Oh well, it's dead now, haha!

The playa was great as always. Ran around fucked up a lot. Saw many old friends. Got sunburned. Shittons of great art. Great camp. Great times. When I got back, my hair wouldn't go back to normal so I ended up shaving it all off. It feels weird and I don't like it much, but oh well.

It seems the only things I missed are political. I don't much care who runs the show anymore. We get jackass number one, who seems all sweet and nice but won't actually change a damn hopeful thing, or jackass number two, who will make things worse. I'd prefer them to improve slightly, so I'll back the dumbocrap. Also, that ugly bitch vice-cunt-wannabe that McCaneAbel picked infuriates me to no end. Not that I care too much. Also: the violence at protestors is getting way the fuck out of hand. They are arresting journalists and beating everyone around. America is a fucking joke. Freedom is not present. This can't go on much longer.

Also, what do I have to do to earn this patch? I wish I was a giant dragon that just went around burning huge pot leaves for the government. I guess that's pretty much what the DEA does. "Hey guys, lets claim millions of pounds of marijuana destruction. Except most of it's non-THC containing wild ditch weed. Those goddamn-ed stupid people. Surely there are better things we can be spending millions of dollars a year on. Like that fucking war or terror. I think it's about time we started another war on another brown-peopled-country. Hellz yeah. Git-r-dun.

Whelp, I've stopped making sense and no longer feel like forcing this.

Drug War Interlude

As you may or may not be aware, I read a fuckton of blogs every day. That's a metric fuckton, not English, in case you were wondering. That's between 200-300 entrees a day. A good majority of them are on the scienceblogs.com header. (I'd highly recommend subscribing to it, tons of good reads.) You may also have noticed my blog list to the side here - all the ones listed are brilliant, BTW. Anyhoo, recently 'DrugMonkey' has been touting the 'effectivness' of the War On Drugs, and this morning I comprised the following response to his latest steaming pile of bullshit "The War on Drugs Didn't Work, Eh?" (Note: I typically agree with DrugMonkey 90% of the time, just especially not on this issue. Typically, it's a great blog and I read it often. I just get livid when people try to justify the present drug war for whatever reason.) Education Yes, Prohibition, Fuck No.

You know, I bet they have reduced rates of civil unrest in China, since they prohibit freedom of speech and firewall the hell of out of their internet. Does this make it right? No. Does the decrease in drug use justify the war on drugs? Hell no. I guess I'm speaking just for pot, since anything harder would require more thought than I am willing to go into right now. I have no new arguments to add here that haven't been reiterated ad nasuem , but I'm coming from a freedom standpoint. Why can I get blacked out drunk on vodka from the grocery store, but I can't catch a smooth buzz from sharing a joint with a few friends? I think as long as booze and tobacco are legal, there isn't an argument on this planet to justify the criminalization of marijuana. On what grounds, exactly, is pot any 'worse' than alcohol? Allow me to play the 'how many people die each year' card, if you will. How many people ended up in jail for marijuana possession in 2006? 829,625? Almost a million people? Really? You explain to me how this is a good thing. It's not keeping criminals off the street. It's not preventing any crime. It's creating a mess and filling our jails with non-violent offenders.

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say "Let the punishment fit the crime." If the drug you possess doesn't have the ability to kill, why are people being arrested and charged with hard time? Why sentence patients and providers to decades of jail time? Simply put, why, other than for arbitrary morals, do we legalize one intoxicant and not another?

To what end do we persecute others to feel 'safe'? Do you feel any safer knowing that I could be locked up at any time, simply because of the methods I choose to relax? The next time you drink a beer, image if you could be locked away and have your possessions confiscated for simply winding down.

Yes, tell the teens and everyone the consequences, just as we do for alcohol and tobacco use. Education is what works, not prohibition. IMHO, 'drug use has gone down' does NOT mean the drug war is working. By your logic, the 'War on Terror' must be won, since there has been a steep decline of terrorist attacks on this country since 9/11. It's a good thing we don't have any other problems we could be spending this money on in this country.