Well, I've been slacking (and jacking) off too much this year; sorry to disappoint. I've been back and forth and back and forth from here to Fort Worth and can't seem to force myself to settle down and create a useful entree, so here's my attempt right now. Starting with the picture to your left - this was sent by a very good friend who took it in upstate New York. Cool.
Anyhoo, let's start with: I need a job. Still looking; I turned one down that paid shit and made me dress like a monkey and drive to north Austin. I would have taken it for more money, but not 11.00 an hour. But I digress, no one wants to hear me bitch about how shitty it is to have to find job, or have a job, or whatever.
The 20th of this month, I guess a week ago, was my one year non-smoking day. That's something to be proud of, I reckon. I am. It's been OK. I still enjoy smoking other things, like crack and cleaning solution, so I'm good there. I would like to get into shape more, but yeah no one wants to hear about resolutions now. Fuck.
Hope you guys got your Flipshit ticket requests in the mail - the deadline was yesterday. Oops for you if you forgot, but hey, there's always !Bobs list, right?
Happy New Year from China! It's the year of the bull. Bullshit, perhaps? For dinner? Sounds like a plan. For me so far this year has been a lot of blah and apathy. Working on resolving that, but it's hard when I don't care that I don't care. Paradoxial!
So John Updike is dead. Less than 24 hours after I picked up and started reading 'Run, Rabbit'. I've had that book for months, got it at a thrift store - just picked it out to read when I went to eat some fine Taco Cabana for the 'All I can Eat' special. And now he's dead. SynchroniciTwi indeed!
What do you guys think when cops set a trap and catch criminals? 'Baiting' as it were? Say, setting up a car to get stolen or some shit like that? Well, quasi-infamous former cop Barry Cooper, of the 'Never get Busted' series of how to stash and hide your drugs did a little experiment recently. Essentially, he rented a shitty house in Odessa, TX (I hate that city) and started growing two little Christmas trees in a closet with grow lights. Less than 24 hours later, the cops busted him. Completely illegally, on live web cam and hidden audio recorders streaming to an offsite area. Turns out the cops lied about everything to get the warrant - saying they had eyewitness accounts of plants being grown and that they could smell it. Well, looks like they got busted...Hopefully, this will prevent other incidents in the future and finally show how bad cops will go to any effort to obtain a warrant. Video here. Good job, sir.
Oh, have I mentioned I hate my fucking job? Alas, only 9 more days...Speaking of my shitty work, they are about to propose a 'reverse stock splitting' action to try and raise the price of the stocks above 1.00...otherwise the '...New York Stock Exchange that its stock was out of compliance with a standard for continued listing on the exchange for not maintaining a minimum average closing price of $1 per share over 30 consecutive trading days.' Ha! Ha! Stupid fucking idiots, I hope the whole thing collapses and the inept management has to find some other company to sink.
Finally, let us all remember John Lennon. He's still dead.
I'd just like to take this oppurtunity to say a big Fuck You to the City of Austin utilities. Their ineptness in billing caused me to be billed $200 over my bill. So, they say I oe $188, I say 'pay bill' and then today I'm out $388. WTF. Which makes me short on rent, which I already sent in. So I freak out, call the damn place, wait on hold for 10 minutes, talk to an indiot, and they are refunding it. via check. Which will take 2 weeks. Which means I'm screwed. Thankfully, the wonderbrother and superpappy are borrowing me temporary monies. On the down side, this means I have $10 till...next next Friday. So I'll be accepting beer and whatver else you wanna gimme gimme gimme. I can pay back in 'Life Fluid' or maybe an anecdote or a story or something. Or when I get my refund check from these bloodscukers. [End Rant]
Imagine being able to remember everything about your life. Absolutely everything - all the joys, the love, the triumphs; every date and time, TV show and radio. Every word of ever book you have ever read. Sound like fun? Well, it's more of a hellish nightmare, seems like. All the bad stuff too - every insult, every harsh word, every mistake. Yikes. Well, this lady remembers absolutly everything about everything that's ever happened to her. I wonder if heavy drinking can solve this problem. Medicinal Whiskey, anyone? Really, they gave it to the sick and blind as a public service. Just what we need, a buncha drunk TB patients. Oh wait, it was just a way to serve booze during the prohibition.
Totally awesome glowing mushrooms in Japan! They are bioluminescant; but they just look pretty, they don't contain any substances that may alter the mind. Still, I'd love to have a front patio decorated with such fungus.
The Clockwork keeps ticking along...(Hi Dave!) be sure to check out our progress and updates updated until New Years, when the giant clock burns!
Happy Extermination Day! What's that, you might say? Well, it's the day, back in 1838, when the governator of Missouri said 'Hey you wacky-ass Mormons - get off my lawn. OR DIE.' Yes, the head honcho of the Loser state publically proclaimed that any Mormons who remained in his state be put to death. Or, as they said back then - "... the Mormons must be treated as enemies, and must be exterminated or driven from the State if necessary for the public peace—their outrages are beyond all description." So, they loaded up the truck and they moved to Beverly. Hills, that is. Can you imagine these days if we had that kinda power? How cool would it be to be like, "Hey, all scientologists, you got 24 hours to get your rich white asses out of this state, lestwise we pump your backside so full of lead ya'll gonna need tweezers to pull 'em out for months. Also we might kill you." Yep, those were the good ole days...(Hat tip to Rogues Gallery for the Extermination info!)
I mean, how do you top that?
NUKES. They top everything, motherfucker. And this link has a ton of pictures from the 50's, when it was cool to nuke the everliving shit out of islands and islanders. So damn cool.
So this weekend, due to the blogosphere buzz and my own curiosity, I started reading 'Watchmen'. I found a nice torrent of it at le bay des pirates, and am on chapter 10, near the end. If the movie is 1/2 as cool as this graphic novel, then we are all in luck - unfortunatly, it's being directed by the same asshat who made 300. So it might suck. But read the damn comic book - it's from 1986 and it's totally fresh and awesome, even in today's world. According to me. Also, there is plenty of blue penis. (NOW IN HD!!) (Dr. Manhatton rarely wears clothes. I wouldn't either, if I had his 'condition'.) Anyways, as someone who doesn't read much (if any) comics, these were fantastic.
It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others.
What an exciting day of human activity and nonsense! Why not start your day off on a foot of some sort, perhaps fresh from sleeping with your big stuffed fish? Yes, why not? WHY NOT INDEED. I watched the last few episodes of Home Movies last night. You simply must watch them all. What a brilliant show, I'm gonna miss it. You won't miss, however, this fucking flourescant glowing cat!
So according to two people I know, I have a stye in my eye. It sucks. I want it to go away. Methinks it's something worse, and I'll probably end up dead or blind because of it, but I'm an optimist and shit ever so. It is more of an irritant than anything else. Oh and it's ugly as sin to look at up close in a mirror, which is the only way I can see it, since it's in my fucking eye.
Durf durf durf I've been updating my twitter with random irregularity latey - join me in my quest for followers (who will buy the book I will one day sell, assuming I do write it and all.) If you aren't on this shitty cocksmoking bandana ride, don't get on. Just find something else to do.
Does anyone know a good cheap dentist in Austin? My teeth hurt something awful and I'd liken to remove them with plyers iffin' I knew whats I was doing. But alas, I don't, so I suffer.
Check out this awesome Magical Gecko Glue! It's like glue, but made from ground-up gecko feet. Mwa ha ha, take that Geico. (Note: Not actually made of ground up geckos)
Last night I replaced the firmware on my fourth generation iPod (it was given to me a while back in Denton. Sort of. It's a long story.) Anyhoo, I've always hated the kinda retarded iEverything setup. RockBox is an awesome open source program that changes it into a useful file system. Oh yeah, and games, themes, plugins, and all manor of cool. Basically it makes the iPod into a portable HD that plays music (and 5th gen and above, all .avi's and shit too!) Man, I just got it an d I love it. Easy breezy install, massive improvement on the OS, and no more iTunes/alternates. Yippy! Tons more info and a HatTip to LifeHacker.
This weekend is Maker Faire; I will hopefully be working with the American Chemical Something with my pal Beebs. Look for us. Maybe I'll have a labcoat on, but it's ever so dirty...
Do I have any 9/11 Troofers who read this blog? Maybe? Kinda? I usterbee one of them. But then I pulled the sily from my ears and read things like this massive dialouge between a troofer and a rational human being. And then think again, dear human. Government is really, really awful and bad, but if we have learned one thing, they are dumb as rocks, not competent enough to pull any type of massive conspiracy. Well, maybe, but not in this case methinks.
Douchy douchebags, how we hate thee - such as Enraged Cunt Palin. ECP, as I call her, had her stupid Yahoo! account hacked. Wanna see? It's right over here on WikiLeaks! (As of...early ass this morning, the wikileaks site took a crap; probably because everyone in America wants to see her personal emails about having a retard baby and her other preggers child.) UPDATE: Some screen grabs and her contact list can be found here! Looks like everyone is finding out what a stupid cunt you are, Palin. Maybe you and McCain can go make retard babies in some other country.
One of my faithful readers (Since there are like 5 of you, if you are reading this, than there is a 20% chance it's you. Thank you, College Algebra!) sent me a link to Badass Of The Week. It's a great site that reviews, well, different bad-asses. And it's updated once a week, imagine that! The writing style is beyond awesome and reminds me of myself. Take, for example, this line about Attila the Hun - "Attila and his brother inherited the Hun Empire in 433 after their father died for some reason nobody gives a shit about.". Or maybe this great one from the article about Jean Hatchet - "In June of 1472, Duke Charles the Bold of Burgundy was a fucking dickhead. He was such a complete and total jackass to everybody that the King of France had officially declared him a traitor to the crown, and Charles – who, like I just said, was a fucking assclown – got his panties in a wad about the whole thing, raised an army of douchebags and started turning the French countryside into a giant raging inferno of suck." It's educational and entertaining! And it will totally meet your qouta of cusses to regular words. Because it satisfied mine, goddamnit. The only downside I see is that this site needs an RSS feed - every site on the web should have a fuckin' RSS feed, so the only page I'd need to check (in theory) would be my lovely lady lumps. I mean my Google Reader. God bless you, google. Until you decided to not follow your motto and become evil. Well, some people already think you are... Also located on this site is the 'Miscellaneous Articles' section, where we find such classics as "Things I've Eaten For Money" and "The Unofficial Guide to Working at Staples". A great find.
And check this shit out: http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com. It's just what you think it is. A collection of passive aggressive notes. But they are brilliant and funny and remind of myself sometimes. As a person with more moods and random shifts in personality, sometimes I'm passive aggressive. Sometimes I'm regular agresive, sometimes I'm passive-passive. Whatever. Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who.
I really can't stop listening to my ragtime station. It's been the only thing in my ears for almost a week now. Scott Joplin and James Scott are two of my new favorite composers. Also, Gerswhin did a fair number of ragtime tunes. It's like a whole world of music we've been deprived of. So go getcha some head phones or speakers and check 'em out. Use the internets to simply follow this amazing link to my Pandora station. It'll blow your fucking socks right off your toe-tappin' feet.
Speaking of things that smell, Enraged Cunt Sarah McPalin. BOOSH! No, actually, she's a complete fucking lunatic who doesn't know shit from shineola. According to this dude, Among other things, she declared that she was a young earth creationist, accepting both that the world was about 6,000-plus years old, and that humans and dinosaurs walked the earth at the same time...I asked how she felt about the second coming and the end times. She responded that she fully believed that the signs of Jesus returning soon "during MY lifetime," were obvious. "I can see that, maybe you can't - but it guides me every day." Well, that's good to know. It's like Bush 2: Bush Dumber. If that many people really think an old man who invented the Blackberry and stupid bitch face enraged cunt are the people who should lead us, let's just destroy this shithole of a country once and for all and start over.
Do you know what else our Political Overlords, specifically the DHS, did? Well, of all the places in America to put a Level 4 BioHazard site, they chose one right in the fucking path of hurricane alley. Yes, Galvaston! Fortunately for every living thing around, it wasn't fully functional or built yet, and nothing bad leaked out of it. Except Galvaston is now covered in shit and mud and dirty condoms and such, so now it looks like Padre Island.
How come all these rich assholes only care about money? And oil? And bullshit? I donno, but over across the pond (That's England, to you Americans and other ill-informed folks) a bank manager literly stole from the rich and gave to the poor. It's a great read, and for the most part everyone seems to be on his side. Except that he's in jail now and his wife left him with the kids. That'll teach him to be a human being.
Ever wonder where I get some of these off the wall stories, like this one about re-chalking the Giant Man With Erect Penis thing over in England? A wonderful little site known as The Daily Grail. It's a fair bit of woo, often full of bullshit, but a wonderful collection of stories, cryptozoology, Holy Grail nonsense, and other fun stuff. I'm personally a fairly hardline skeptic (about 50% of the time; it comes with being a Gemini. Or being bi-polar. Or both.) but check out The Daily Grail and subscribe to thier feeds if you want. I love it.
As a former smoker, you'd think I would want to like, ban it or some shit. Actually, I think banning smoking everywhere (even outside!) is a bit extreme. I personally don't give two shits in the wind if people smoke around me outside. Or in a bar. I'd prefer people not smoke in my car, but I also know how much awesome it is, so I still let people. It's retarded to try and change people's behavior by banning something - we have learned from prohibition and the War On Drugs that this does not work. All it does is create more criminals. Stupid fucking state.
Finally, I'll let Coach McGuirk wrap things up here.
Hooray Friday. Woo. Then two days of nothin', and then back to work! What a stupid cycle this is! Oh, how I yearn for the days when I could just ride across the plains on my trusty horse Horseingtonsworth, searching for buffalos (which my people called 'Tatanka' or sometimes 'Maize' or even sometimes 'Bison') and living the good life. Screwing squaws all day long, smoking peace in pipes, hittin' up my homies in the peublo buildings and eating shit tons of peyote. Yes, my salad days, the halcyon years, the prime of life. And now, to be reduced to a cubicle for 40 hours a week. Fuck you, white man. Why don't you bend over and let me screw you for a bit, huh? Jesus. It seems like just the other day, I was out for a walk with one of my wifes, Sarah Walks Like A Duck Palin (pictured here stroking my 'third arm' [that's what us Injuns call the right arm]) and we came across this teepee that had all these blinky lights and techno music coming from the inside. Turns out I someone stumbled onto the playa and was lost around 10:00 and Esplanade. Anyhoo, we walked into it and they were like "We don't serve food here." So I had to rough 'em up a bit, but eventually we walked away with not one, but two squirel enchiladas. Fuck yeah, thanks assholes. Later, we attended this rap battle and it was awesome. Afterward, we intercoursed and it was adequite.
My new favourite webcomic* of the day is Big Fat Whale. What got me hooked was today's cartoon, linked from one of the damn SciBlogs, about the LHC. Oh man, that last panel is pants-shittingly hilarious. The archives contain minutes of enjoyment!
* - Sorry, but XKCD has been kinda on the weak these last few weeks. WTF happened? Did all the fame of having the number one webcomic cause Whats-His-Nuts to lose his ability to judge funny? I'm one to talk, I can't even write a coherant blog. Much less an entertaining and funny one. Why can't I be more like Michael Ian Black?
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Ah, but that we could vote for fictional charactors to lead our fictional democracy. Not that I'd vote for Luke. Or Mark Hammil, despite his comedic awesomeness and ability to laugh like a fucking maniac. Jebus, I bet that gets old fast. I think I'd love to be a voice actor. I mean, you get to act, but not really. You don't even have to wear nice clothes or shave or even be sober, really. What a douche.
I guess if I had to choose a fictional representative to lead my country in taking over the world, I'd probably pick Abraham Lincoln. I mean, he's got that hat, and a beard, and just like Santa he brings toys to all the good little boys and girls.
Forgive me for a second. I'm out of ideas. My brain is straining to come up with something funny, something to amuse you. I've shat out a long and ranty depressive missive this morning in a tightly locked LJ post - how very emo of me - and it took about all that I had in me to make it express my feelings without being too straight-up emo. That's hard work, mixing somber tones with comedy.
Comedy as it is is difficult. Take, for example, this thing I thought up yesterday. I wrote on my hand 'CAR' on my hand to remind myself to take my car back to Just Brakes. Yes, I'm linking to them. This particular store kicks all sorts of ass, the manager Mace (like the charactor Samuel Jackson played on the shitty Star Wars!) was super helpful, he literlly showed me the inside of my brakes and fluid levels and all that shit, explained it all, etc. Anyways, so I have to go there and get something else installed today. But I digress - the CAR thing - I was like "Man, how clever it would be if someone was like 'Why do you have car written on your hand?' and then I could be all 'Oh, it's because I've been using my heliocoptor for transportation lately and I don't wanna forget I brought the car'." As it turns out, no one asked, so I forced my hand, and it wasn't nearly as funny as I had priorly imagined. I guess it wasn't a crime of passion, but premeditated. I should stick to ad-lib.
But seriously folks, you've been a great audience. Speaking of talented comedians, not like myself, somehow Mitch Hedberg released a new CD from Beyond The Grave. I'm sure it's great. I really, really loved that guy, but at the same time, I really, really loved heroin for a while myself. So, shine on you crazy diamond. At least you got out before all this McCain pig lipstick dshit. Yeah I'm not even gonna rant and rave today. No clever Palin sex talk. (She's still sore from last night's marathon buttfuckery, in case you were wondering.)
So if there is one thing I hate about driving, it's just about everything. I fucking hate cars, I hate driving, I hate other drivers, and I hate being in a car. So there, I said it. But also, I despise those fucking morons like the jackass fucker behind me today who insist upon those giant ass bright as fuck headlights that blind me. At 6:42 in the morning, the very, very last thing I want to deal with is two tiny suns blaring into my eye sockets no matter what I do. So what do I do? Yes, I'm the fucker who slows down when this type of retard is behind me. Significantly. And red lights? Yeah, maybe I don't notice they turn green for a little bit. And then, oh shit, looks like my car was in neutral for some reason. Ha ha, fucker, that will teach you to blind me with your stupid laser beam headlights and retard ass-licking. Oh, yes, please get in the shoulder and accelerate past me. That would make me ever so happy. Goddamn worthless fucks.
So that's how my day begins. Well, actually, it begins with a nice bowl of HEB brand Blueberry cereal and some HEB brand soy milk. Yum yum! Brekkers of champions. If you are not in the know, I say 'brekkers' instead of breakfast. Something me and the brother came up with. So, that and some coffee. Drive to work. Log in. Start all 3,000 programs I have running. Open Firefox with 2,355 tabs. Read all the damn blog posts. Play my Fallensword. Then I try to think of something clever to write here. Then...well, I doodle a bit sometimes, make lists, dick around. Sometimes I work. Fun times.
Oh, someone found a bigfoot corpse. Yeah, big news. They plan to reveal it on the 15th - make sure to check it out at www.bigfoottracker.com. Now I'm not a genius or nothing, but I'm just gonna make a small wager here and say it's a fucking hoax. Anyone wanna bet otherwise?
Have any of you guys ever hit anything while you were driving? I mean, like a dog or a chicken or a penguin or some shit? Well, once I hit a racoon. It went 'THUMP' and I kinda just kept on driving. I assume it is dead by now as that was about 12 years ago. If you are like me, you visit poetv.com daily. That's Portal Of Evil TV in case you were confused and thought it was a buncha videos of the Raven. Well, my latest, favoritest video from that site has to be this one. This girl hits a bird and...well, as the comments say, "She's a screamer, not a moaner."
Man, nothing is scarier than sharks, right?I mean, they have the strongest bite strength in the world. Well, great whites do - and they surmise that the most awesome and coolest shark of all, the megladon, had the strongest bite of all things ever. I mean, the fucker ate whales for breakfast. And every single time I've tried to eat whales for breakfast, all I get is really bad blue diarrhea.
Hey everyone! One last biscuit of information - tonight is the Perseid meteor shower. Stay up late, grab a foldy-chair, and sit yo' ass outside and watch the broken falling pieces of American economy. I mean meteors. Whatever, just enjoy the natural beauty of the planet instead of your LCD monitor and/or television. Or at least be fuckin' if you are indoors tonight. Sheesh. It'd be nice if you could move some mountains a little bit closer to us too. I mean, we could climb up on all top of them like they were cans of beans, setup a small shade structure, and drink the night away watching the magic of HD real life star gazing. Also, rumour has it, if you catch one of the 'shooting stars' on your tongue, you get access to this secret bonus level, where if you run fast enough and collect enough coins, you can earn up to seven extra lives! Fuck yeah! Nevermind, it was last night. Fuck. Thanks, Michelle.
This is a picture of my friend Jim's mullet. For the longest time whenever you googled 'mullet' on google image, you would find this picture as the number one mullet. And I agree - it's the stereotypical mullet. If, one day, you were to tell me I would meet the funniest person that I know, and you told me, he's got a fucking mullet like none other, I would have scoffed at you. And probably tried to bite you as well, just because that is the kinda thing I enjoy doing. Well, I leaned on Friday night that Jim is no longer the number one mullet in the land of the tubes - oh, the shame! He says he needs people to blog about his mullet to get it back into number one. Well, this week is Jim's Mullet week here at Synchronicitwi. So please, if you have a blog, just link to this damn picture.
Oh, by the way - Jim cut his mullet right after Flipside this year. And Fark.com once had a photoshop contest about it - check that out here. There were some pretty damn amazing entrees. If you'd like to learn more about the being known as Smiley Jim, check out jimhateswork.com.
Other than that, I'm pretty out of ideas about what to blog about. A bunch of people died this weekend. Um, Russia invaded Georgia or something. The Olympics are happning. I didn't really do much other than work on Get Lost stuff in preperation for Burning Man. Check out Dave's awesome fire thing! If you are coming out to the Gerlach regional this year, I'll be at Get Lost (2:00 and J-K). Come see me! It'll be fun times, I'm sure.
I'm not sure what I was doing when I was a younger person. I mean, I really can't rememeber shit about my childhood. It's like everything that happened to me from birth till 23 or so is a void. This leads me to believe that I am not from this planet. So if you ever hear me talking about how I'm an alien and just here for a little bit, I really mean it. Usually. What can I say? It's like seven hundred people inside of here. Damn. Oh, where the fuck was this rant going? Something about children perhaps. Um...Oh yeah, we dropped a bomb on Hiroshima yesterday. That fucked up some kids, lemme tells ya. But again, that's not what I wanted to rant about today. Well shit me a brick. See folks, this is why you shouldn't blog at work - you may have to stop mid-thought and do some work. Hey, why don't you guys start getting me book deals already? How many fucking animals do I have to kill?
Here is some filler from something I wrote to someone else about something else: [About getting into Burning Man]...You may have to kill a few of the 'greeters' (Which are now highly skilled Blackwater employees) and make sure to bring a few gallons of moss to sleep on. You'll be inhabited on both sides by the path of the righteous man - watch out for the one wearing the stupid hat. He's got some mojo risin'. Did Steela get her groove back? Anyways, you're gonna wanna sneak past the three-headed unicorn riding the mantis shrimp. And the next step is vital: avoid, at all costs, succumbing to the erotic wailings of the beached mermaids, for they are nothing other than dying manatees who have been propellered from people not idleing thier boats in the murkey skank-infested waters of St. Pepsicola, Florida.
Also: Happy birthday, James Randi! Randi, everyone's favorite skeptic, turns fucking 80 today. Wow. Also, in case you don't keep up with the skeptic blog-o-sphere, Bad Astronomy's Phil Plait is now the head of the James Randi Educational Foundation. Go pay a visit and say hi to Phil. If you have any interest in space, I'd highly suggest subscribing to Bad Astronomy. It's quite the fun blog, and both of them are very awesome people. I'm a huge reader of Science Blogs. See? Blogs can be totally educational and not just a stupid hipster 'hey look who's fucking this guy and wearing this stupid fucking thing blah blah woof woof'. I guess this blog doesn't really have a theme yet, per say. That's what I need to do, is find out what I want to report about, then like do it. Sounds easy, right? Well, it's hard enough for me to come up with enough words to make myself feel like it's an appropriate length for an entree for today's meal in the blog. This is pretty good, right here. Nice size. Good job.
Yes, I'm been caught up in a fucking web game. A flash game, none-the-less. And a tower defense game to boot. But this one is different and awesome and addictive and all manor of evil. Also, the sudden leap from blogging whenever I feel like it to trying to come up with something each day is slightly harder than not doing anything but playing web games. I'm even slacking on my blog readings, dear readers. All three of you.
So my work is usually pretty slow these days, and I do spend a lot of my time at work dicking around online. GemCraft has been lately my favorite one to waste time on - I stayed after work an extra 10 minutes to finish a round on Monday - but there are others. In case you are unawares, a great site to visit is 2FlashGames; they have lots of games and shit to play there. Also, the blog Jay Is Games is pretty great, that's where I first head of GemCraft. The only other game I play with regularity is the ultra cheese-fest browser RPG Fallensword. I whore that one out a lot because if people sign up with my link, I can earn FallenSword Points. So there.
Well, I've already gotten past my start-blog-block. The only thing I really had in mind was to point out that in two days, I have watched two movies. As you might remember, YPF starred one of my early twenties television crushes, one Carly Pope. Man, I can't get her out of my head. Well, I'll be double-fucked ten ways to next Tuesday if the very next movie I saw, Wristcutters:A Love Story starred...the other fucking half of Popular, Leslie Bibb. She wasn't really my type - I'm not so much of a blonde, ditsy type myself - but this just goes to show why I named this blog Synchronicitwi and not CoincidenceTwi. Damn, I need to hire some writers - that wasn't funny - like this guy, who outsourced his blog to India.
Well, go watch both these movies and the whole first season of Kenny Vs Spenny and you will see the things I have watched the last few weeks. Really, if you are like me and just download whatever TV you wanna watch like when you are falling asleep or during foreplay, Kenny vs Spenny is something the whole family can enjoy - if by whole family you mean yourself and your girlfriend, and one of you is an alcoholic, and the other is a pot head.
I'd like to preface this by talking about how much I despise going out to the movies. I mean, it costs way too much money, it's dirty, there are lots of other smelly, white-trash morons around, a fucking coke and popcorn costs something like $30, and most mainstream movies suck an ass. The last movie I can recall seeing in the theater was the last Harry Potter movie, and only then because a decent group of DaFTies went together to see it. It was OK. I've not read the books, I'm not obsessed about it, but it managed to hold my attention and my former wife was in it. Big deal, you say. Look, I'm an elitist, smuggish white person who likes to claim I hate TV but spends hours watching Battlestar Galactica and/or Kenny vs Spenny. Walking contradiction, right? Yeah, that's me in a nutshell, if I could find a nutshell big enough to hide in and protect me from the fucking chemtrails and shit.
So this weekend my brother turned 25, and I went up to the Fort of Worth to visit him and his friends. On Saturnday, the local movie place has $4.50 movies before 6. I wanted to see the new damn Batman movie because if there is one thing I love, it's seeing people who are dead before thier prime perfrom for my amusement. Alas, everyone else had already seen it, and it wasn't playing around that time, and etc. whatever. So we decided, or rather, Steve decided for us, that we needed to see X-Files 2: Complete Waste of Fucking Time.
So it starts good. I mean, the music is cool and all, it's the X-Files theme, so it was hard to fuck up. Doo-dooo-doo doooo doo doooooo. You know, the X-Files theme. It's killer wicked killer. I can't get it out of my head! Oh, the movie goes downhill from there. After the credits, there is some duder leading a buncha cops to a severed arm. Turns out, he's a creepy pedophile priest who somehow became psychichly connected to this alter boy he fucked in the ass. Oh, I'm sorry, let's say 'buggered' like they do in the movie. Same fucking thing. Spoiler Alert! This movie sucks balls. I mean, oh, look, some Russians (Really? fucking Russians? This is the best they could crap out?) captured some girls who all had the same blodd type. Why? To keep the lung cancer ridden body of the now-gay former alter boy alive via the methods seen in this video:
Yep. They based the entire movie on a grainy stupid two year old internet meme. I first blogged about it at least months ago on my top-secret LJ . Who fucking cares. They arrive just in time to save the bitch, imagine that. Oh yeah, for a few minutes, they provided a 'love' interest of Mulders, because him and Skully can only fuck, but have a relationship. Also, they imply that they had a kid (?) and it died in childbirth. Oh yeah, the new bitch? She gets killed after about 10 minutes and Mulder doesn't seem to give two fucks of a shit. I sure didn't.
The only X-Filesy thing about this movie was the two seconds we saw a dog with two heads. Then Mulder smashed it with a hammer.
The whole movie was like one of the bad episodes of season 2 or 3 from the show. You know, the ones that were not memorable, and you felt like you were obligated to watch it because it might contain a secret to the 'puzzle' of cancer man and aliens and Mudler's sister? It was just like that. Only it lasted longer and costed more and contained previews for five or so similarly shitty movies. I hope you enjoy your money, Gillian Anderson, you washed up whore. Even with your red hair, I wouldn't fuck you anymore. Go back to being a cum-guzzling gutter slut. Mostly, I wish to disgrace Chris Carter for releasing this pile of shit. Thanks, assface. May you get a nasty VD that impairs your ability to achive an erection, you filthy talentless hack who makes movies solely to ring in the money from gullible suckers who haven't been laid since the late eighties and earn thier income by blogging about shitty sci-fi movies and working the register at the local comic shop.
As you may or may not be aware, I read a fuckton of blogs every day. That's a metric fuckton, not English, in case you were wondering. That's between 200-300 entrees a day. A good majority of them are on the scienceblogs.com header. (I'd highly recommend subscribing to it, tons of good reads.) You may also have noticed my blog list to the side here - all the ones listed are brilliant, BTW. Anyhoo, recently 'DrugMonkey' has been touting the 'effectivness' of the War On Drugs, and this morning I comprised the following response to his latest steaming pile of bullshit "The War on Drugs Didn't Work, Eh?" (Note: I typically agree with DrugMonkey 90% of the time, just especially not on this issue. Typically, it's a great blog and I read it often. I just get livid when people try to justify the present drug war for whatever reason.) Education Yes, Prohibition, Fuck No.
You know, I bet they have reduced rates of civil unrest in China, since they prohibit freedom of speech and firewall the hell of out of their internet. Does this make it right? No. Does the decrease in drug use justify the war on drugs? Hell no. I guess I'm speaking just for pot, since anything harder would require more thought than I am willing to go into right now. I have no new arguments to add here that haven't been reiterated ad nasuem , but I'm coming from a freedom standpoint. Why can I get blacked out drunk on vodka from the grocery store, but I can't catch a smooth buzz from sharing a joint with a few friends? I think as long as booze and tobacco are legal, there isn't an argument on this planet to justify the criminalization of marijuana. On what grounds, exactly, is pot any 'worse' than alcohol? Allow me to play the 'how many people die each year' card, if you will. How many people ended up in jail for marijuana possession in 2006? 829,625? Almost a million people? Really? You explain to me how this is a good thing. It's not keeping criminals off the street. It's not preventing any crime. It's creating a mess and filling our jails with non-violent offenders.
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say "Let the punishment fit the crime." If the drug you possess doesn't have the ability to kill, why are people being arrested and charged with hard time? Why sentence patients and providers to decades of jail time? Simply put, why, other than for arbitrary morals, do we legalize one intoxicant and not another?
To what end do we persecute others to feel 'safe'? Do you feel any safer knowing that I could be locked up at any time, simply because of the methods I choose to relax? The next time you drink a beer, image if you could be locked away and have your possessions confiscated for simply winding down.
Yes, tell the teens and everyone the consequences, just as we do for alcohol and tobacco use. Education is what works, not prohibition. IMHO, 'drug use has gone down' does NOT mean the drug war is working. By your logic, the 'War on Terror' must be won, since there has been a steep decline of terrorist attacks on this country since 9/11. It's a good thing we don't have any other problems we could be spending this money on in this country.
Well, I've been slacking (and jacking) off too much this year; sorry to disappoint. I've been back and forth and back and forth from here to Fort Worth and can't seem to force myself to settle down and create a useful entree, so here's my attempt right now. Starting with the picture to your left - this was sent by a very good friend who took it in upstate New York. Cool. 
Posts
