Despite being what I think about every seven seconds
according to common myth, today's blog title is basically going to be my review of a movie by the same name. [Can you tell I'm only partially here in the head right now? That sentence barely makes any sense.] Anyways. So I'm talking about this Canadian film called, in case I haven't made any sense so far,
Young People Fucking.
In a nutshell, the title pretty much captures the theme. The movie is broken into five parts, one of which was orgasm, the others, I don't recall. Something about foreplay or some such nonsense. Since when does sex have to have stages? It should be like a trip to the post office. You go in, do your business, go out, and go about your merry way. Shouldn't ever take longer than 2 minutes, tops. And that's if you
start with clothes on. That's why I typically rent all my whores by the minute. I've got it down to an art - someone should offer me a book deal. Speaking of book deals and blogs, guess who just got a fucking book deal? Yeah, the
Garfield Minus Garfield guy. With the
blessing of Jim Davis to boot. Where is my fucking book deal?! C'mon people, get on it. I promise to send you roses and signed copies and shit. For money.
So they introduce these five couples - there's like, first date, and 'the ex's' and 'the couple' and um, 'best friends' and uh...damn. You can look it up if you really wanna know. It's easy just to maybe watch the damn movie. So it follows these couples around for a bit, shows some nice simulated oral sex, occasional flashes of some really nice bodies, and the occasional nipple. It was around this time I thought I recognized one of the girls. Some part of my brain clicked, and I was like, man, that girl is so hot. It seems like I know her from somewhere.
Does anyone besides myself rememeber a show that was on the fledgling WB called '
Popular'? Well, if you were me circa 1999, you were living with a semi-bitch fiance who didn't believe in leaving the house often. This included Friday nights. But the one good thing about Friday nights was a clever little show on the WB called 'Popular'. I was a semi-satirical high school show. The had it's drama, and it's cliques, and it's sports, and cliches, and the like. But I thought it was truely clever. The charactors where well written, the scripts were typically funny, and the girls were very much desired by me. Well, not the snotty ass ones. The 'under dogs'. S
pecifically, the charactors of
Sam and Lily.
Lo and behold, the girl I was strongly compeled to lust after in YPF was none of then my beloved 'unpopular artist/nerd girl' from Popular Sam McPherson! Or, if you wanna get technical about it,
Carly Pope. She was born in the same year I was! Holy mother of god. Also, Vancouver? Fuck yeah! Anyways, after seeing her in YPF (she really doesn't have the best part, but it
was cute. I mean, it's totally cliche, but look at her. Yowza.) I think I may need to get a fictional divorce from my fictional wifes Helena Bonham Carter and
Olga Kurylenko (according to
sharia , I can only have four wifes at a time, apparantly, not
six like this police man.) and gain my new beloved Carly Pope. I mean, she's already a fucking pope
(just like you and me and everybody..) and she's my same age (and we are both monkeys in the Chinese zodiac, which makes for plenty of abusrd monkey sex and poop throwing, if the zoo has learned me anything) so I think this is a match made in heaven. Or Canada. Whatever.
As for the movie, yeah, SPOILER ALERT everyone has sex. There ya go, I saved
you the thirty minutes it takes to download on bittorrent you from having to Netflix it or whatever it is you children do these days. I personally paid money for it, because anything else would violate RIAA codes n' shit. Also, educational purposes only. No dumb porposes here. Go rent/buy this movie, you will enjoy it. And if you watch it with a friend, you will probably have to pause the movie to have sex a few times. I mean, if you are into that kinda thing, and these are some hot people.
Oh and a dude gets fucked in the ass by a girl with a strap on too. Yummy.
million stars to, if they were mine to give. Well played, Mr. Giamatti and pals!) I've been on an early American history binge. If you've never been to John Locker check it out - it's a huge listing of streaming online documentaries. Given, a large number of them are about alien shape shifting politicians and the New World Order and other bullshit, there are a bunch of good ones in a series called 'Liberty' I have been watching. They are pretty good and very educational, and all the speaking parts are based on real letters, pamphlets, and journals. Their John Adams, however, is no Paul Giamatti. If anyone is paying attention, I would like one of those powdered wigs for X-mas, please. A nice one. One I can wear to the next Contenental Congress. Sometimes I wish I had Hypertrichosis. Then I would never need a wig...
Posts
